There is some instant, involuntary flexion in the lines of his face - the flash of something brittle - and a hesitation he can't mitigate before it happens which says, It already has.
There is truth in that reaction. It's nothing John knows. He has become a certain kind of liability. He is quiet for a long moment, feeling the weight of that settle onto his shoulders.
John will manage it. He has been managing this secret for most of his life, and all that's different now is the stakes associated with failure.
"If what we've done pays off in Nevarra, you're right. This place will ask more of us."
If.
"I would not see us give up our investment here."
Now more than ever, the time spent here has to bear some reward. John has given this place a year and some odd months, and now his dearest secret. It cannot all come to nothing in the end.
"Then we're in agreement." He sounds very certain even as his thumb has set at the edge of one of his rings, unconsciously contemplating turning it around and around on its finger. "That's all I needed to know - to verify that we continue to drive this thing rather than be driven."
Decisions can be made as they create the circumstances which require them.
Flint's certainty echoes in John's voice. It has been many months of them speaking together, seeing the places where the world bends to meet them. But now the foundation has been shaken. There is some price to that, even if John cannot see the shape of it beyond this moment.
"If there's nothing else, I'll see to Mr. DeGroot."
There is something else. It must show in him somehow - in his face or in the small undecided motion of his hands or by the line of his shoulder angled away from the jutting pain in his side. His hand on a stone, measuring the effort and time it will take to turn over. Why isn't a question he can ask, but there are twenty more which occur to him just in the context of this room. But are any of them fundamentally different from that one, though? Don't they all point in that direction?
"See that the launch is made ready as well. I'll be off as soon as it is."
If he is patient, more productive questions will make themselves known.
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no subject
"Of course."
no subject
John will manage it. He has been managing this secret for most of his life, and all that's different now is the stakes associated with failure.
"If what we've done pays off in Nevarra, you're right. This place will ask more of us."
If.
"I would not see us give up our investment here."
Now more than ever, the time spent here has to bear some reward. John has given this place a year and some odd months, and now his dearest secret. It cannot all come to nothing in the end.
no subject
Decisions can be made as they create the circumstances which require them.
no subject
Flint's certainty echoes in John's voice. It has been many months of them speaking together, seeing the places where the world bends to meet them. But now the foundation has been shaken. There is some price to that, even if John cannot see the shape of it beyond this moment.
"If there's nothing else, I'll see to Mr. DeGroot."
As if this is any other conversation.
no subject
"See that the launch is made ready as well. I'll be off as soon as it is."
If he is patient, more productive questions will make themselves known.